The promotion landed. The confidence didn't.

Now you're leading like someone you don't recognize.

I was talking with a client recently who'd just been promoted to Director. Bigger team, more influence, the title he wanted. He expected to feel different.

Instead, he felt himself shrinking and feeling uncertain.

He held back in meetings. Second guessed his instinct to pause and ask questions. His old manager led with rapid decisions and firm statements, so he started imitating that style.

It didn't feel like him. And he could see his team hesitate before speaking, waiting for permission to be real while he carried the weight of performing confidence he didn't feel.

Maybe you've been there. That moment when you realize you're not sure what authentic leadership even looks like anymore. Every shift comes with new rules you're still learning. IC to people leader. Manager to leader of other people leaders. Feeling unsure isn't failure. It's transition.

What most people miss is that your authentic leadership style is actually your competitive advantage.

Every organization has its own politics and pace, and yeah you need to understand the system you're in. But within that system, you lead most effectively when you lead in ways that come naturally to you.

When you stop performing, your team stops performing too.

If you're performing a version of leadership you think others expect, the friction will show up. Over time, it's not sustainable.

With this client, we created a few low stakes experiments where he could show up more like himself. What he noticed was simple. The more he let his real style through, the more his team responded with honesty, trust, and this visible sense of relief, like they'd finally been given permission to breathe.

Authority doesn't come from sounding certain. It comes from being authentic. Telling the truth about what you know and what you're still figuring out. Trusting that who you are is enough.

If you're wrestling with this right now, feeling the gap between the leader you're trying to be and the one you actually are, it might be time to run your own experiment.

What happens when you show up as yourself for one conversation, one decision, one meeting?