You know that feeling when you step into a bigger role and suddenly your instincts feel… off?

Like the confidence you used to have just doesn't translate. Like you're waiting to be found out.

That wobble isn't proof you're unqualified. It's your identity catching up to a bigger arena.

What I've noticed working with leaders in this space is that the gap between who you were and who this role is asking you to become can feel especially loud for high achievers. Because you've always been the person who already knew. And now you don't. And that feels like failure.

That discomfort is rarely about capability. It's about identity. And the leaders who move through it fastest are the ones who stop pretending that they have it all figured out and start showing up as real humans.

Because certainty doesn't create trust. Authenticity does.

One practice that helps
Before a meeting, ask yourself whether you're showing up to connect or to convince. If you catch yourself slipping into performance mode, take one slow breath and reground yourself. That moment of presence often opens more trust than any perfectly polished answer.

I learned this the hard way early in my own leadership journey. I walked in trying to be perfectly buttoned up, hoping polish would earn respect. It only created distance. But when I let myself show up with humor, rough edges, and honest uncertainty, the team relaxed. Trust grew. And the work got better.

So if you're in that "in between" space right now, where the role feels bigger than your current sense of self, try this experiment.

Choose one small setting this week and let yourself show up as the real you, not the perfected version. Notice what happens in the room. Notice how people respond when you're authentic instead of performing.

You might be surprised how quickly trust grows when you stop trying to sound certain and start being present.

And if that feels risky, remember that you didn't step into this role by being someone you're not. You stepped into it by being exactly who you are, and now you're just learning how to be that person here.

If this resonates, what's one place where you're still performing instead of being your authentic self?